Have you been thinking about community this week?  Have you been thinking about the health and wellness of YOUR friendships?  I have.  I loved what Rebecca had to say last week about being authentic and about being picky when it comes to the people we surround ourselves with.  This is so true.

I have been thinking and talking about this idea of pickiness for the past decade or so.  I like to call it the Circle of Self.  Think of yourself as the center of a circle.  Radiating out there are concentric circles.  Within each circle is a group of people.  Their proximity to you depends on which circle they are in.

Who controls that proximity?  You do.

The secret is to learn how to put people in the right circle.  It is just as important to keep some people distant as it is to keep others close.  Healthy boundaries are essential when building your Circle of Self.  As Rebecca mentioned last week, deep, sustainable relationships are the ultimate goal.  People who are honest, supportive, caring and fun belong nearby.  This means they are in your inner circle or in the next ring out.  People who have only a couple of these qualities belong farther out.

Someone who is honest but not very supportive doesn't belong in your inner circle.  She (or he) belongs a little further out because while the honesty is important the lack of support is too.  Someone who is fun to be around but not caring or loyal can be a great friend to see a movie with, but not someone to ask advice from.

Are you seeing the pattern here?  How we set up our Circle of Self is vital to our mental well being, which affects so many different parts of our lives.  So how are you doing putting people in their proper circle?  Do you have some people that may need to be shifted around?  

Be encouraged, Jesus is a great example of this.  He surrounded himself with 12 guys who were about as diverse as they come.  But they were hand-picked by Christ himself.  He knew what and who he needed to be surrounded by.  These 12 guys had their whole lives transformed by Jesus, but they also gave him support, companionship, they were the ones who asked the hard questions that required parables, stories and even exasperation.  Their questions are our questions and I am so glad they were there to prompt a real-life explanation of this thing we call faith and a great example of friendship - they ended up dying for him, just as He did for them.  Wow!

Peter and John on their way to the tomb.

After the 12 there were 70 who followed Jesus around who He personally sent out.  Remember Luke 10?  These were the workers, the ones who really started to spread the gospel and who were not in the inner circle but people he trusted to get the word out.  That trust was such an important factor.

Finally, there were the masses.  Those who followed Jesus from town to town or came to hear him speak in places like Capernaum or Bethsaida.  This group was filled with people who wanted something from Jesus, like healing, but who gave little in return.  But He saw them for what they were, people with needs and He was willing to talk with them, pray for them and show them what true love really is.  Many, many lives were transformed through that contact so never underestimate the power of that outer circle.

Creating a healthy Circle of Self is so important.  I hope you will take a look at the people around you and start creating healthy boundaries so that the people in your life are in the proper "circle".  The work you put in to this one area will reap immeasurable benefits for you and you will see and feel your community become a wonderful, healthy and vibrant place.